Monday, March 14, 2011

Oh, the joy!

Things were so much easier when I just had one kid.  I remember thinking that early on.  Not that I would give either up for anything, but it was just more work.  Then I remembered when I first had Ella, and I thought that people who had no kids just couldn't realize how hard it was.  Then I remembered when we were first married, and we looked back on singleness as being free and easy.  Then I remembered the first year of teaching and looking back on college as a fun cakewalk.  I could go on.

Then I think, I wish I could go back to college knowing what I know now!  I'd do so many things differently.  I think that about every previous phase of life.  Yet the reason I have the wisdom I have now is because of the experiences I've had since. 

With each choice I've made - college, teaching, marriage, staying at home with a newborn, adding another child, The Lord has allowed so much growth.  Whether through trials or great experiences {though these are not mutually exclusive}, His merciful teaching has shaped our family.  I can, when times are hard, remember when they were easier, but then I think of how blessed I am to be exactly where He wants me to be.  What a privilege!

I never want to hear this come out of my mouth:  You just wait until {you have kids} {your kids become teens} {you fill in the blank}...  Recently, my dear, dear friend Lydia's husband was deployed.  I wanted to talk to her about how hard it was having Handsome Hero travel so much, but didn't feel like I could because she was missing out on her mister for 10 months or so.  Talk about feeling small potatoes!  She told me that there was no comparison.  Having her husband gone didn't lessen how hard it was for my husband to leave for a week at a time.  That opened a line of communication that I needed, and I am so thankful to her for that.

James 1 talks about trials.  Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have it's perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  When we were aching for that second baby, I finally realized that my unfulfilled desire was a trial.  That allowed me to consider it joy!  When Jack was in the hospital right after we moved to the Great White North, I realized that this was a test that would produce endurance.  Again, I could go on.  Now, I have had this particular passage memorized since college, and these insights just occurred to me over the last 1 1/2 years, 10 years after learning them, lest it be mininterpreted that I am quick and perceptive.

All this leads {not really} in a {very}roundabout way to breakfast a couple of days ago. 
Me:  Ella I need some help.
Ella:  How can I help, Mama?
Me:  Can you feed Jack his breakfast?
Ella:  Sure!

She gives us glimmers of the future, and they are beautiful.

Is the endurance producing results?  More on that later....

1 comment:

  1. What a sweet read! I really like your writing style, friend. Love you!

    PS> I like Ella's open mouth as she feeds Jack! So cute!