Tuesday, July 12, 2011

He's got the whole world...

You know that song?  It ranks up there with Heart and Soul for worst melodies to get stuck in your head.  But Heart and Soul is worse because it is the song all kids who can't play piano seem to know. 

Do you know what that means?  It means that every time a kid comes into your classroom, you are assaulted by this song.  He immediately runs over to the piano and starts to play. And it's always this song.  And by the tenth time in one day, you hate this song.

And your eye starts twitching.

And as soon as it starts, others flock to play the counter melody. 

And you can feel a headache coming on.

And then they have contests to play it as loudly as possible.  And other kids just sing along, even though none of them know the words. They say things like, "Heart and Soul.....duh duh duh duh duh duh..."

And you can feel your nostrils start to flare and you paw at the ground, ready to charge.

And then, right when your vision is clouding over and you notice that you are holding two rather large clumps of your own hair in your hands, it comes to you in a flash.  You walk over and say sweetly to the little stinkers darlings, "You know, I don't mind if you play that song, as long as you can play it in another key."  And they look at you blankly, because they don't know how.  You knew they wouldn't. 

And you have won.  Until they convince someone who knows how to teach them.  But that's another story.

Okay, so most likely you were not a choir teacher like me, but you get the sentiment, right? 

Just humor me.

Back to He's Got the Whole World.  I have never taught this song to Ella.  Today, however, she learned it from one of my voice lesson students. 

And she sang it for thirty minutes straight.  I used to really like that voice student.

The only thing that made me refrain from screaming uncontrollably, falling on my knees, and slapping the ground saying, "WHY??  WHY???  WWHHHHYYYYYYY????" asking her not to sing was that she sounded funny.  It took me a bit to figure it out, but instead of saying, "He's got you and me, sister," she was saying, "He's got human being, sister!"  If you say them out loud, they sound remarkably similar.  It was cute..

And then she just went to town.  She had verses like, "He's got 1,2,3..." and, "He's got my fingers and my toes..." and on and on, ad nauseum.

It was stinking cute.  But when she wakes up from her nap, I'm going to tell her she can only sing it if she can do it in another key.

Why not?  It worked before.


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