Dear little child in my belly,
Let me introduce myself. I'm your mom, and I'm very excited to meet you. I can't wait to introduce you to the world and your family. You are already loved and eagerly awaited. However, we have a problem. Let's talk.
I understand the need to let me know you are there, but I promise I will not forget you. You will be able to come out in due time, and any amount of your kicking is not going to change that. Maybe we should start learning the concept of gentleness. I'm already working on it with your siblings in anticipation of your arrival, so why shouldn't you benefit, too?
Why do you have such violent tendencies so young? Is it because you are a boy? When the ultrasound tech watched you, she told us we were really in for it. However, that was not an invitation to prove her right. Boys can be calm creatures, too, you know. When you use every one of your extremities and your head and rock out to your heart's content, please remember the woman whom you are occupying. I am more than willing to share the space with you, but you must be a good roommate. You may not believe it, not having seen other women, but I'm pretty tall and you have a lot of room. You've got a good thing going, kiddo. I expect an apology and a thank you from you before you're thirty.
Your mama, who just grunted involuntarily thanks to some calesthenics you were doing.