Monday, August 29, 2011

Good-bye, Mr. Coffee

Our coffee maker just died.  Bit the bullet.  Kicked the can.  Pushed up those daisies.  Met the great percolater in the sky. 

For a girl who drinks upwards of six cups a day, this was a big deal, though not all negative.  We didn't actually like our coffee maker. Sometimes water leaked out the bottom and all over the counter. Sometimes the filters folded over themselves, spilling the grounds into the pot.

What I'm saying is, I was really excited to get a new one.  I even did a little happy dance.  Still, I wrote a tribute.  It was only appropriate.

Mr. Coffee

I never liked you, coffee machine.
But the thought of replacement made me see gr$$n.
You did the job
when my head would throb,
but I wanted a 'maker with sheen!

A stainless one would do the trick!
It'd make our kitchen really slick!
I admit I prefer
bling on my counter
And silver's the color I'd pick.

So, 'maker, I bid you farewell,
In our home you'll no longer dwell.
I'll get something new
and better than you
that will make my little heart swell.

{Snarky, I know, but it's okay to be snarky to a broken coffee maker.  Sometimes snarkiness is not to be tolerated, but this is not one of those times.}

I needed my fix, so I started to price good coffee makers.  Whoa.  I decided that I might have been too hasty in my attitude toward our old stalwart friend, Mr. Coffee.  Replacement is expensive.

So I wrote a revised version of my tribute.  It's my prerogative to change my mind.  As I have said before, it's my bloggy and I'll write what I want to.

Mr. Coffee

Our beloved coffee maker,
your caffiene made me feel awaker.
I'll miss the thrill
of your drip, drip trill,
you percolating heart breaker.

To replace you, it will be quite pricey
But to go cheap is rolling the dicey.
We'll cough up the cash
{and put you in the trash}
for a broke 'maker will not sufficey.

Well, it's a little less snarky {insert toothy grin}.


  1. If you need a temp. solution while you shop around and compare reviews to make sure you get just what you want I have one in my basement that only gets used a few times a year for company. I can swing by tonight to drop it off? (I'll e-mail you just in case you don't see this in time ;) )

  2. You're funny. Like, a lot. Super funny. See, I read them. :o) Yep, very funny. Love you!