Monday, January 14, 2013

My Child

My energy is waning.  All I want to do is snooze.
I would like if I could take a nap, or daydream, or muse
about that time I had the strength to paint a whole room in one day,
while potty-training, cooking meals, basically making hay
while the sun was shining on my work {that was actually getting done}.
It's a downer looking at what I'm completing now.  Um....none
of the things that were so crucial are even on my list
of things to check off.  What's important now is to persist
in this giving of myself to help my baby who needs me
more than the curtains that need hanging or the laundry to be cleaned.
It's my pride that wants a perfect looking home where all is sparkly,
and shimmery, and new, and kind of glowing when it's darkly.
But those things become so distant when you're deep inside the trenches,
and fighting for the health of your boy who's throwing wrenches
in your plan to have your house worth showing off, worth bragging over.
It's humbling to see you've been so shallow, grumbling over
things that, while not wrong to work toward, are nowhere near important.
It's the things above this world with which I need to be accordant.
Thank you, Father, for this blessed child you've loaned to me.
I'll do my best to be the mom that You want me to be.
I'll make my home the kind of place where You would want to dwell.
For one day I want You to say, "My child, you've done well."

Update on Nate:  He's not taking a bottle, but is getting an extra two feedings a day through nursing and they seem to be helping.  He's been sick, along with the rest of the family, for a couple of days, so progress isn't likely until he's better.  We're keeping an eye on his weight, and so far, we're cautiously optimistic, meaning, he hasn't continued to lose even though he's sick.  We are hoping through these extra feedings to inspire him to want to eat, and so avoid a hospital stay, but I'll keep updating as we have news. 

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